Much Needed Vacation

So I forgot to add some good news to my post yesterday. We’re going to Orlando, FL!

At the beginning of January (when I was down in the dumps after AF showing up) my husband said that if I didn’t get pregnant by March that we would go again. We went two years ago and it really was the best vacation we have ever had. I thought I was going to be pregnant right now and didn’t think we would be going on a vacation at all this year, so this will be a nice treat. He said it would be a nice stress free time for us and I sure as heck wasn’t going to decline a trip to Disney! It was a pretty short time to plan a vacation and I am someone who needs to plan ahead of time/purchase tickets early. We were able to get tickets for everything and book our hotel room though. Yay! I figured if I ended up getting pregnant then I would still be able to go on some rides even though I would miss out on a lot of fun ones. My mindset was that I won with either outcome. I would much rather be pregnant and miss out on rides but getting to enjoy everything to the fullest is awesome too.

When we started planning I went off of my previous cycle that was more regular and figured I would be ovulating while we were there. That will most likely not be the case now. So much for being stress free and having some Disney magic to help me get pregnant! HA!

We’ll also be going to Universal Studios and this year Diagon Alley is now open!! Disney is my favorite and those who know me know I am obsessed with everything Disney. BUT I absolutely love Harry Potter too so I am stoked! I can’t wait and know that we both need this vacation.

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UPDATE!!

Hey everyone!! So it has been quite a while since I’ve posted anything so I just wanted to give you all an update. I have still been trying to conceive, I just took a break from blogging/vlogging about it. Since I am usually a more private person it has been hard posting update after update with no real good news. I just assumed I would start this blog out as trying to conceive and then shortly after already be pregnant. I realize it really isn’t that simple and I am coming to terms with the fact that my TTC journey may end up being a LOT longer than I anticipated.

I decided to just focus on my husband and myself for a while to see if maybe I would end up with my BFP. I feel like that might not have been the best idea though. I’m thinking that because I am STILL on the same cycle as I was when I did my last post in the middle of January. It seemed like my cycles were slowly getting back on track and my last cycle I actually ovulated so I was really hopeful. My last cycle I ovulated on CD 19 and it was a 29 day cycle, which was pretty darn regular compared to the cycles before that. I was so sure that this cycle I would either ovulate a few days earlier or at least around CD 19. That did not happen though. I have not ovulated at all this cycle and today is CD 58. Seriously, what the heck?! My longest cycle was 63 days (I believe) but that was a month after I had stopped taking my birth control pills so I figured that was normal. As of yesterday, my period is 4 weeks “late”. I really think that it is just my cycle that is messed up and it is not really late. I have been taking pregnancy tests every week just in case but they have all been negative. I may end up going to the doctor to see if maybe the at home pregnancy tests are giving me false negatives. One can hope, right?! Last time when I had decided to go to the doctor…my period started that same day though. LOL.

I will keep you guys posted if I take another test or if I decide to go to the doctor next week.

Spoke Too Soon…

Some of this post may be a bit TMI…so you have been warned! LOL

Well, what I thought was implantation bleeding is actually EAF (EVIL Aunt Flow). WHY?! I wasn’t getting my hopes up, but I really felt confident with how this cycle went and felt like everything was pointing to me getting a BFP. Yesterday as the day went on I had some more spotting and it was getting more and more reddish. It was a very light flow though and I was thinking maybe it was still implantation bleeding. It was more than a few drops but was only happening when I wiped. Then today it has been getting more and more heavy as the day has gone on. As you can imagine, I am super bummed and a bit confused. My last cycle was 35 days long and so I wasn’t really expecting AF until next week. With CD 1 starting yesterday that now means that I had a 29-day cycle this time.

When will the madness stop?? Sometimes I just want to yell at my ovaries and my uterus…seriously, what is up with my body? HA. I am really starting wonder if there is something wrong though since we had such perfect timing with my ovulation this past cycle. This is probably my paranoid side but part of me wonders if this is my period or a possible miscarriage. I mean, how do you know? I wasn’t due to start for another week so I just feel so unsure. Like I said…paranoid.

I really do appreciate all of the well wishes and baby dust that you amazing ladies have been sending my way though! I’m going to keep on trying and one of these cycles it WILL happen.

Implantation Bleeding?

So today is 11 DPO and I am wondering if I am having implantation bleeding or just spotting before my period. I have been having a few “symptoms” that have led me to believe I am pregnant but am still not sure if it is all in my head. Then, late last night I had some brownish spotting. This morning I had some more and it was more of a pinkish color. According to things I am reading online this could be implantation bleeding. It occurs 6-12 days after you ovulate and about a week before your period is expected. I am exactly in that time period! I took this little quiz online just for fun to see what it said. According to the internet “expert” quiz, what I am having definitely seems to be implantation bleeding.

For some reason I am just not sure though. I have felt a lot more positive/relaxed this cycle and both my husband and I have felt like I really am pregnant this time. I just hate to get my hopes up and then be disappointed once again. I still haven’t taken a pregnancy test though because I really wanted to wait until my missed period next week. That’s the other thing…if this is actually my period starting up then my cycle day length has changed once again! Bleh.

Also, according to my husband he thinks that I am pregnant. He said HIS breasts are sore so that’s a for sure sign that I am pregnant!! LOL. I’m glad he can still make me laugh even when I’m stressed out 😀

I guess I will know in a couple of days for sure though! Keeping my fingers crossed…

Irregular Cycle and Ovulation

It’s CD 31 and I think I may have finally had my LH surge!! I’m not for sure because the test line was still lighter than the control line…it’s just so close though. I ran out of my ClearBlue digital tests a couple of days ago so I couldn’t test with those as my backup. Of course the days where I actually might be ovulating I run out of my tests. Such is my luck! Yesterday and today were the darkest lines I have seen though so I am thinking that these days may have been my best chances to get pregnant. I am going to keep testing with my OPKs and see if I get a no doubt positive though up until AF shows up.

That brings me to my cycle day length. I am thinking I must still be on an irregular cycle because if I had a 28-day cycle then AF would’ve shown up at the beginning of this week. I did take a pregnancy test today though since there was no sign of the “lovely” lady. It was negative. A BFN! I kind of expected this since my OPKS have been looking pretty close to positive but I just couldn’t help but take a test. My POAS addict ladies will understand! My last cycle was over 60 days though because I started on September 1st and then my next period didn’t happen until November 3rd. I was really hoping that this cycle would go back to a regular one but it’s seeming very unlikely. I don’t know if I should expect AF next week or the week after so I’ll probably take another pregnancy test next week. I’m still hoping we get lucky and conceive on this cycle! I have a vlog up on my YouTube channel if you want to check that out too.

Here are my test strips from the last three cycle days

Positive?!

Positive?!

Cycle Day 27

Well it’s been a few days since I did an update so I figured I better do one! It’s CD 27 and I have been using my OPKs since CD 11 and have yet to have a positive. Today’s line is the darkest I have seen though. If I have a 28-day cycle then that means AF is due to arrive soon. If there is no sign of AF by Wednesday then I am going to take a pregnancy test. Surprisingly, I have NOT opened my current box of pregnancy tests yet. I told myself I would wait until a missed period and I actually did it. YAY me!! If you are a POAS addict (like me) then you will know just how hard it has been to actually follow through and not test. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that this is *the* cycle even though I haven’t been able to detect ovulation. These next few days are going to be grueling as I await the dreaded CD 1 again!

My test line from today looks a lot darker in the photo then it does in person

‘Tis the Season to be Thankful!

Yesterday I did a random little vlog on being thankful because I often take for granted how blessed I am. I just received a new camera as a gift and it was the perfect timing because I was looking into buying a new one. When little things like that happen, it really makes me think of the other small blessings in my life that I may not always acknowledge. I can sometimes be one of those people who will only think about being thankful during this specific time of year. Around this time of year is when everyone talks about “giving thanks” even though we should be doing this throughout the year.

So I just want to say that I am so thankful for my husband throughout this journey. Let’s be honest…they can get stressed out if you’re trying to schedule out every time you are going to have sex! Even though I haven’t been able to detect ovulation, there were a couple of weeks that I found myself trying to “schedule” BDing and it affected us both. We work opposite schedules and some days it can be hard to be spontaneous when our time together is so rushed. You want to make sure that no matter what you don’t turn TTC into just a to-do item on a list! If you’re so busy temping and/or checking for ovulation and will only try during those times, it is never going to go anywhere. Or at least if that’s what you want to do then don’t let your partner know!! LOL. Make it feel fun and exciting for them even if you’re just wanting to do it because it’s a peak day. If you do have a patient, understanding spouse then be sure to thank them for being such a great support system through your TTC journey!

I am also thankful for my amazing family and my friends because they are a great support system as well. They may ask a few questions regarding how things are going but I never feel pressured by them. Also, my husband and I both have great jobs, a roof over our head, and running cars. We complain about these things when stuff goes wrong…BUT at least we have them to complain about. So many people go without and then there are people who take advantage of the great things in their lives.

So even though I haven’t been able to get pregnant yet, I have only been trying for about four months. Yes, this seems like a lifetime on some days! It really isn’t though. There are so many people who have been trying for years and are still unable to get pregnant. I don’t know what the future holds and I may end up struggling with infertility, but right now I am still trying to keep a positive outlook. Any of you ladies struggling to get pregnant, try to keep your head up. I know there are rough days and it can be difficult so if you ever need to vent then I will be more than willing to lend a listening ear!

To end this random post…I am challenging myself to work on being more thankful throughout the year, not just during the holidays. I challenge you to do the same. You may realize that things in your life aren’t really as bad as they seem!

Here is my random vlog if you want to check it out 🙂