Hey everyone!! So it has been quite a while since I’ve posted anything so I just wanted to give you all an update. I have still been trying to conceive, I just took a break from blogging/vlogging about it. Since I am usually a more private person it has been hard posting update after update with no real good news. I just assumed I would start this blog out as trying to conceive and then shortly after already be pregnant. I realize it really isn’t that simple and I am coming to terms with the fact that my TTC journey may end up being a LOT longer than I anticipated.
I decided to just focus on my husband and myself for a while to see if maybe I would end up with my BFP. I feel like that might not have been the best idea though. I’m thinking that because I am STILL on the same cycle as I was when I did my last post in the middle of January. It seemed like my cycles were slowly getting back on track and my last cycle I actually ovulated so I was really hopeful. My last cycle I ovulated on CD 19 and it was a 29 day cycle, which was pretty darn regular compared to the cycles before that. I was so sure that this cycle I would either ovulate a few days earlier or at least around CD 19. That did not happen though. I have not ovulated at all this cycle and today is CD 58. Seriously, what the heck?! My longest cycle was 63 days (I believe) but that was a month after I had stopped taking my birth control pills so I figured that was normal. As of yesterday, my period is 4 weeks “late”. I really think that it is just my cycle that is messed up and it is not really late. I have been taking pregnancy tests every week just in case but they have all been negative. I may end up going to the doctor to see if maybe the at home pregnancy tests are giving me false negatives. One can hope, right?! Last time when I had decided to go to the doctor…my period started that same day though. LOL.
I will keep you guys posted if I take another test or if I decide to go to the doctor next week.
It’s CD 31 and I think I may have finally had my LH surge!! I’m not for sure because the test line was still lighter than the control line…it’s just so close though. I ran out of my ClearBlue digital tests a couple of days ago so I couldn’t test with those as my backup. Of course the days where I actually might be ovulating I run out of my tests. Such is my luck! Yesterday and today were the darkest lines I have seen though so I am thinking that these days may have been my best chances to get pregnant. I am going to keep testing with my OPKs and see if I get a no doubt positive though up until AF shows up.
That brings me to my cycle day length. I am thinking I must still be on an irregular cycle because if I had a 28-day cycle then AF would’ve shown up at the beginning of this week. I did take a pregnancy test today though since there was no sign of the “lovely” lady. It was negative. A BFN! I kind of expected this since my OPKS have been looking pretty close to positive but I just couldn’t help but take a test. My POAS addict ladies will understand! My last cycle was over 60 days though because I started on September 1st and then my next period didn’t happen until November 3rd. I was really hoping that this cycle would go back to a regular one but it’s seeming very unlikely. I don’t know if I should expect AF next week or the week after so I’ll probably take another pregnancy test next week. I’m still hoping we get lucky and conceive on this cycle! I have a vlog up on my YouTube channel if you want to check that out too.
Here are my test strips from the last three cycle days
Well it’s been a few days since I did an update so I figured I better do one! It’s CD 27 and I have been using my OPKs since CD 11 and have yet to have a positive. Today’s line is the darkest I have seen though. If I have a 28-day cycle then that means AF is due to arrive soon. If there is no sign of AF by Wednesday then I am going to take a pregnancy test. Surprisingly, I have NOT opened my current box of pregnancy tests yet. I told myself I would wait until a missed period and I actually did it. YAY me!! If you are a POAS addict (like me) then you will know just how hard it has been to actually follow through and not test. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that this is *the* cycle even though I haven’t been able to detect ovulation. These next few days are going to be grueling as I await the dreaded CD 1 again!
I was supposed to be visiting my mom right now but her new kitten has ringworm so we decided it was best for me to just stay home. I didn’t want to catch it and then give it to my husband and/or our kitties! I’m super bummed since I don’t get to see her that often. She’ll be coming to visit in about a month for Christmas though so at least I will still get to see her soon!
As far as ovulation, today is CD 19 and I got another negative test. My husband is still convinced that I am pregnant because he said he can just “feel it”. I think just last month during the time when I missed my period for two months he said the same thing though. As much as I am hoping he is right, I just really don’t think I am. Only time will tell.
Since I haven’t ovulated and don’t have much to update on, I did a TTC Tag video. If you want to get to know a little more about my TTC journey then check it out 🙂
Well I’ll get straight to it…I wasn’t ovulating yesterday and am still not ovulating today. I thought the test line was gradually getting darker and maybe I was going to have an LH surge but that still hasn’t happened. Today’s test line was pretty much nonexistent just like CD 11. I have been trying to test around the same time each day but would just an hour difference affect my results? Also, another blogger pointed out that your LH is lower in the early morning so maybe I am just testing too early or even drinking too much water on some days. I may also start charting my BBT just so I can see if I get a more accurate idea of when I am ovulating. I am still just trying to go with the flow and my husband and I have still been BDing even though I don’t seem to be ovulating.
On a different note, yet another friend just announced she is pregnant with her second child. Usually I feel jealous and wonder why so many people around me keep getting pregnant while I just sit here waiting. I am actually thrilled for her though! It took her a very long time and a couple of miscarriages before she was blessed with her first child. It gives me hope because I know how much she longed to be a mother and now she is going to have another baby. I know it may take a while and I may hate that it takes longer than I want…and that’s okay. One day, years from now, I may be announcing that I am having a second child and this desire to have a child will be just a memory.
At least, that’s what I am hoping.
Test strips from yesterday and today
Well today is CD 14 and I don’t have much to share since I’m still not ovulating. I thought the test lines were getting darker each day but after today I am thinking that’s not the case. My test line today looked pretty darn similar to yesterday’s. You just gotta love confusing ovulation test strips!
Here’s a pic from today’s though:
Also, I just love this meme because my husband will always ask me if I’ve peed on my stick for the day
Well today is CD 13 and I am still not ovulating, but I am hopeful that I will be soon! Since CD 11 my test line has gotten darker each day and I am assuming that’s a good thing. Even though it’s probably just a coincidence…for some reason I feel like I might actually ovulate this month.
I feel like a lot of women who are trying to conceive can get down in the dumps if it takes longer than a month or so to get pregnant. I will admit, I am one of those women! It hasn’t even been a full four months that we have been trying and yet I am still so impatient. There are people out there and even in my life that it took a year, two years, or longer to get pregnant. Then there are the people who will never get to experience the joy of pregnancy at all. I don’t know my ‘fertility fate’ yet so until I have been trying for a year then I am no longer going to be so pessimistic about it. It can definitely be annoying hearing “just relax and it will happen” but I think it is a pretty valid statement. Unless you are struggling with infertility, of course. One of my friends was trying for months and then once they took a TTC break then a few weeks later she found out she was pregnant. I am not quite ready to take a break yet though since I feel like my body is still just taking some time to get back on track.
It will happen when it’s meant to happen! (The other annoying thing I keep telling myself since that’s what people keep saying to me)
Test line gradually getting darker!
The line is very faint but here’s a close up!
If you are interested then here is my vlog from today as well