UPDATE!!

Hey everyone!! So it has been quite a while since I’ve posted anything so I just wanted to give you all an update. I have still been trying to conceive, I just took a break from blogging/vlogging about it. Since I am usually a more private person it has been hard posting update after update with no real good news. I just assumed I would start this blog out as trying to conceive and then shortly after already be pregnant. I realize it really isn’t that simple and I am coming to terms with the fact that my TTC journey may end up being a LOT longer than I anticipated.

I decided to just focus on my husband and myself for a while to see if maybe I would end up with my BFP. I feel like that might not have been the best idea though. I’m thinking that because I am STILL on the same cycle as I was when I did my last post in the middle of January. It seemed like my cycles were slowly getting back on track and my last cycle I actually ovulated so I was really hopeful. My last cycle I ovulated on CD 19 and it was a 29 day cycle, which was pretty darn regular compared to the cycles before that. I was so sure that this cycle I would either ovulate a few days earlier or at least around CD 19. That did not happen though. I have not ovulated at all this cycle and today is CD 58. Seriously, what the heck?! My longest cycle was 63 days (I believe) but that was a month after I had stopped taking my birth control pills so I figured that was normal. As of yesterday, my period is 4 weeks “late”. I really think that it is just my cycle that is messed up and it is not really late. I have been taking pregnancy tests every week just in case but they have all been negative. I may end up going to the doctor to see if maybe the at home pregnancy tests are giving me false negatives. One can hope, right?! Last time when I had decided to go to the doctor…my period started that same day though. LOL.

I will keep you guys posted if I take another test or if I decide to go to the doctor next week.

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Spoke Too Soon…

Some of this post may be a bit TMI…so you have been warned! LOL

Well, what I thought was implantation bleeding is actually EAF (EVIL Aunt Flow). WHY?! I wasn’t getting my hopes up, but I really felt confident with how this cycle went and felt like everything was pointing to me getting a BFP. Yesterday as the day went on I had some more spotting and it was getting more and more reddish. It was a very light flow though and I was thinking maybe it was still implantation bleeding. It was more than a few drops but was only happening when I wiped. Then today it has been getting more and more heavy as the day has gone on. As you can imagine, I am super bummed and a bit confused. My last cycle was 35 days long and so I wasn’t really expecting AF until next week. With CD 1 starting yesterday that now means that I had a 29-day cycle this time.

When will the madness stop?? Sometimes I just want to yell at my ovaries and my uterus…seriously, what is up with my body? HA. I am really starting wonder if there is something wrong though since we had such perfect timing with my ovulation this past cycle. This is probably my paranoid side but part of me wonders if this is my period or a possible miscarriage. I mean, how do you know? I wasn’t due to start for another week so I just feel so unsure. Like I said…paranoid.

I really do appreciate all of the well wishes and baby dust that you amazing ladies have been sending my way though! I’m going to keep on trying and one of these cycles it WILL happen.

Implantation Bleeding?

So today is 11 DPO and I am wondering if I am having implantation bleeding or just spotting before my period. I have been having a few “symptoms” that have led me to believe I am pregnant but am still not sure if it is all in my head. Then, late last night I had some brownish spotting. This morning I had some more and it was more of a pinkish color. According to things I am reading online this could be implantation bleeding. It occurs 6-12 days after you ovulate and about a week before your period is expected. I am exactly in that time period! I took this little quiz online just for fun to see what it said. According to the internet “expert” quiz, what I am having definitely seems to be implantation bleeding.

For some reason I am just not sure though. I have felt a lot more positive/relaxed this cycle and both my husband and I have felt like I really am pregnant this time. I just hate to get my hopes up and then be disappointed once again. I still haven’t taken a pregnancy test though because I really wanted to wait until my missed period next week. That’s the other thing…if this is actually my period starting up then my cycle day length has changed once again! Bleh.

Also, according to my husband he thinks that I am pregnant. He said HIS breasts are sore so that’s a for sure sign that I am pregnant!! LOL. I’m glad he can still make me laugh even when I’m stressed out 😀

I guess I will know in a couple of days for sure though! Keeping my fingers crossed…

Another cycle bites the dust

Today is a pretty “blah” day because AF decided to show her ugly face. I’ve been trying not to beat myself up and be upset about it but it’s really hard for me. It’s just another cycle down and I’ll be back to praying and keeping my fingers crossed that I get pregnant on this cycle. On the bright side, my cycle day length was MUCH shorter this time. It was only 35 days so I have hope that my body is slowly getting back on track.

It’s really weird because each time I have drank alcohol AF shows up the next day. I’m sure it is just a coincidence but it’s just strange that it has happened the last two times I have had something to drink. I usually don’t drink a lot anyways and have been drinking even less now that I am trying to conceive. For my November period I had a couple of Jell-O shots the night before and then this weekend I had a couple of drinks at my husband’s squadron Christmas party. I know I am probably being completely paranoid but I can’t help it. I am thinking I should just go back to drinking NO alcohol at all and we’ll see what happens.

Here’s to hoping this week goes by fast!!

Irregular Cycle and Ovulation

It’s CD 31 and I think I may have finally had my LH surge!! I’m not for sure because the test line was still lighter than the control line…it’s just so close though. I ran out of my ClearBlue digital tests a couple of days ago so I couldn’t test with those as my backup. Of course the days where I actually might be ovulating I run out of my tests. Such is my luck! Yesterday and today were the darkest lines I have seen though so I am thinking that these days may have been my best chances to get pregnant. I am going to keep testing with my OPKs and see if I get a no doubt positive though up until AF shows up.

That brings me to my cycle day length. I am thinking I must still be on an irregular cycle because if I had a 28-day cycle then AF would’ve shown up at the beginning of this week. I did take a pregnancy test today though since there was no sign of the “lovely” lady. It was negative. A BFN! I kind of expected this since my OPKS have been looking pretty close to positive but I just couldn’t help but take a test. My POAS addict ladies will understand! My last cycle was over 60 days though because I started on September 1st and then my next period didn’t happen until November 3rd. I was really hoping that this cycle would go back to a regular one but it’s seeming very unlikely. I don’t know if I should expect AF next week or the week after so I’ll probably take another pregnancy test next week. I’m still hoping we get lucky and conceive on this cycle! I have a vlog up on my YouTube channel if you want to check that out too.

Here are my test strips from the last three cycle days

Positive?!

Positive?!

Cycle Day 27

Well it’s been a few days since I did an update so I figured I better do one! It’s CD 27 and I have been using my OPKs since CD 11 and have yet to have a positive. Today’s line is the darkest I have seen though. If I have a 28-day cycle then that means AF is due to arrive soon. If there is no sign of AF by Wednesday then I am going to take a pregnancy test. Surprisingly, I have NOT opened my current box of pregnancy tests yet. I told myself I would wait until a missed period and I actually did it. YAY me!! If you are a POAS addict (like me) then you will know just how hard it has been to actually follow through and not test. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that this is *the* cycle even though I haven’t been able to detect ovulation. These next few days are going to be grueling as I await the dreaded CD 1 again!

My test line from today looks a lot darker in the photo then it does in person

Aunt Flo, How I Hate Thee

Oh the irony! Today I was planning on going to the doctor to get a blood test done to see if I was pregnant or not. Then, after 2 months of being MIA, AF decided to show up and dissolve my hopes of being pregnant. I told my best friend that I was being pessimistic so that if the blood test still showed I wasn’t pregnant then I wouldn’t be disappointed. I must admit though, in the back of my head I really thought my hCG levels were just too low to register on a home pregnancy test and I was thinking the blood test was going to give me the “positive” I was looking for. I guess the plus side of all of this is that now I will be able to track my ovulation and hopefully be on track to getting pregnant! I have some of the Clear Blue ovulation sticks and will be purchasing some of the cheaper ones off of Amazon so I can see if I ovulate at all this month. I am going to try to focus on just going with the flow so that I don’t stress out too much about it though!

I will get pregnant when it is meant to happen…that’s what I have to keep telling myself.

If you want to check out my first TTC Vlog click here. When I uploaded the video to my computer the quality wasn’t that bad but once I uploaded it to YouTube, it was really blurry. I was going to redo the video but didn’t get a chance since we have still been getting settled into our new house. I have a decent DSLR camera so I am going to mess around with the settings to make sure I have better quality videos! Any suggestions would be appreciated as well. 🙂