Another cycle bites the dust

Today is a pretty “blah” day because AF decided to show her ugly face. I’ve been trying not to beat myself up and be upset about it but it’s really hard for me. It’s just another cycle down and I’ll be back to praying and keeping my fingers crossed that I get pregnant on this cycle. On the bright side, my cycle day length was MUCH shorter this time. It was only 35 days so I have hope that my body is slowly getting back on track.

It’s really weird because each time I have drank alcohol AF shows up the next day. I’m sure it is just a coincidence but it’s just strange that it has happened the last two times I have had something to drink. I usually don’t drink a lot anyways and have been drinking even less now that I am trying to conceive. For my November period I had a couple of Jell-O shots the night before and then this weekend I had a couple of drinks at my husband’s squadron Christmas party. I know I am probably being completely paranoid but I can’t help it. I am thinking I should just go back to drinking NO alcohol at all and we’ll see what happens.

Here’s to hoping this week goes by fast!!

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Irregular Cycle and Ovulation

It’s CD 31 and I think I may have finally had my LH surge!! I’m not for sure because the test line was still lighter than the control line…it’s just so close though. I ran out of my ClearBlue digital tests a couple of days ago so I couldn’t test with those as my backup. Of course the days where I actually might be ovulating I run out of my tests. Such is my luck! Yesterday and today were the darkest lines I have seen though so I am thinking that these days may have been my best chances to get pregnant. I am going to keep testing with my OPKs and see if I get a no doubt positive though up until AF shows up.

That brings me to my cycle day length. I am thinking I must still be on an irregular cycle because if I had a 28-day cycle then AF would’ve shown up at the beginning of this week. I did take a pregnancy test today though since there was no sign of the “lovely” lady. It was negative. A BFN! I kind of expected this since my OPKS have been looking pretty close to positive but I just couldn’t help but take a test. My POAS addict ladies will understand! My last cycle was over 60 days though because I started on September 1st and then my next period didn’t happen until November 3rd. I was really hoping that this cycle would go back to a regular one but it’s seeming very unlikely. I don’t know if I should expect AF next week or the week after so I’ll probably take another pregnancy test next week. I’m still hoping we get lucky and conceive on this cycle! I have a vlog up on my YouTube channel if you want to check that out too.

Here are my test strips from the last three cycle days

Positive?!

Positive?!

Cycle Day 27

Well it’s been a few days since I did an update so I figured I better do one! It’s CD 27 and I have been using my OPKs since CD 11 and have yet to have a positive. Today’s line is the darkest I have seen though. If I have a 28-day cycle then that means AF is due to arrive soon. If there is no sign of AF by Wednesday then I am going to take a pregnancy test. Surprisingly, I have NOT opened my current box of pregnancy tests yet. I told myself I would wait until a missed period and I actually did it. YAY me!! If you are a POAS addict (like me) then you will know just how hard it has been to actually follow through and not test. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that this is *the* cycle even though I haven’t been able to detect ovulation. These next few days are going to be grueling as I await the dreaded CD 1 again!

My test line from today looks a lot darker in the photo then it does in person

‘Tis the Season to be Thankful!

Yesterday I did a random little vlog on being thankful because I often take for granted how blessed I am. I just received a new camera as a gift and it was the perfect timing because I was looking into buying a new one. When little things like that happen, it really makes me think of the other small blessings in my life that I may not always acknowledge. I can sometimes be one of those people who will only think about being thankful during this specific time of year. Around this time of year is when everyone talks about “giving thanks” even though we should be doing this throughout the year.

So I just want to say that I am so thankful for my husband throughout this journey. Let’s be honest…they can get stressed out if you’re trying to schedule out every time you are going to have sex! Even though I haven’t been able to detect ovulation, there were a couple of weeks that I found myself trying to “schedule” BDing and it affected us both. We work opposite schedules and some days it can be hard to be spontaneous when our time together is so rushed. You want to make sure that no matter what you don’t turn TTC into just a to-do item on a list! If you’re so busy temping and/or checking for ovulation and will only try during those times, it is never going to go anywhere. Or at least if that’s what you want to do then don’t let your partner know!! LOL. Make it feel fun and exciting for them even if you’re just wanting to do it because it’s a peak day. If you do have a patient, understanding spouse then be sure to thank them for being such a great support system through your TTC journey!

I am also thankful for my amazing family and my friends because they are a great support system as well. They may ask a few questions regarding how things are going but I never feel pressured by them. Also, my husband and I both have great jobs, a roof over our head, and running cars. We complain about these things when stuff goes wrong…BUT at least we have them to complain about. So many people go without and then there are people who take advantage of the great things in their lives.

So even though I haven’t been able to get pregnant yet, I have only been trying for about four months. Yes, this seems like a lifetime on some days! It really isn’t though. There are so many people who have been trying for years and are still unable to get pregnant. I don’t know what the future holds and I may end up struggling with infertility, but right now I am still trying to keep a positive outlook. Any of you ladies struggling to get pregnant, try to keep your head up. I know there are rough days and it can be difficult so if you ever need to vent then I will be more than willing to lend a listening ear!

To end this random post…I am challenging myself to work on being more thankful throughout the year, not just during the holidays. I challenge you to do the same. You may realize that things in your life aren’t really as bad as they seem!

Here is my random vlog if you want to check it out 🙂

Cycle Day 19 – TTC Tag Video

Hey ladies!

I was supposed to be visiting my mom right now but her new kitten has ringworm so we decided it was best for me to just stay home. I didn’t want to catch it and then give it to my husband and/or our kitties! I’m super bummed since I don’t get to see her that often. She’ll be coming to visit in about a month for Christmas though so at least I will still get to see her soon!

As far as ovulation, today is CD 19 and I got another negative test. My husband is still convinced that I am pregnant because he said he can just “feel it”. I think just last month during the time when I missed my period for two months he said the same thing though. As much as I am hoping he is right, I just really don’t think I am. Only time will tell.

Since I haven’t ovulated and don’t have much to update on, I did a TTC Tag video. If you want to get to know a little more about my TTC journey then check it out 🙂

Cycle Day 17

Hey, hey, hey!

So today is just like the last few days…which means I am not ovulating. I have tested for the past seven days and none of my test strips ever came up positive. I am just going to keep testing and hopefully I will ovulate soon! If I still don’t ovulate over the next couple of months then I will probably see my doctor just to make sure everything is all clear.

I may be going to visit my mom for the next few days so if I am not posting updates, I apologize! She doesn’t have internet and since I have Sprint as my cell phone provider I am not sure if I will have good enough service to post from my phone. Once I get back I will definitely start posting again though.

Here’s my test strip from today:

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Cycle Day 16

Well I’ll get straight to it…I wasn’t ovulating yesterday and am still not ovulating today. I thought the test line was gradually getting darker and maybe I was going to have an LH surge but that still hasn’t happened. Today’s test line was pretty much nonexistent just like CD 11. I have been trying to test around the same time each day but would just an hour difference affect my results? Also, another blogger pointed out that your LH is lower in the early morning so maybe I am just testing too early or even drinking too much water on some days. I may also start charting my BBT just so I can see if I get a more accurate idea of when I am ovulating. I am still just trying to go with the flow and my husband and I have still been BDing even though I don’t seem to be ovulating.

On a different note, yet another friend just announced she is pregnant with her second child. Usually I feel jealous and wonder why so many people around me keep getting pregnant while I just sit here waiting. I am actually thrilled for her though! It took her a very long time and a couple of miscarriages before she was blessed with her first child. It gives me hope because I know how much she longed to be a mother and now she is going to have another baby. I know it may take a while and I may hate that it takes longer than I want…and that’s okay. One day, years from now, I may be announcing that I am having a second child and this desire to have a child will be just a memory.

At least, that’s what I am hoping.

IMG_2203

Test strips from yesterday and today